Please read the Legal Disclaimer.

Bunch of Boaters - by Daniel Valleskey

A group of unicorns is called a blessing. Twelve or more cows are known as a "flink." A group of frogs is called an army. A group of rhinos is called a crash. A group of kangaroos is called a mob. A group of whales is called a pod. A group of geese is called a gaggle. A group of ravens or crows is called a murder. A group of officers is called a mess. A group of larks is called an exaltation. A group of owls is called a parliament.

So what do we call a group of kayakers? A pod, a school, a whole shit load, a flotilla, a gaggle? Why, a group of kayakers is called a BRACE, of course! Or a Mosh. On the Potomac, in the summer, it is much more like a swarm! A party of Tupperwares. Don't we mean Tupperwearers? Maybe a (w)hole of kayakers, or a bail of kayakers

A system used in Maine: 2 kayakers = a pair-- 3-6 kayakers = a kay of yaks-- 6-10 = a pod-- more than 10 is too damn many. Its a platoon if Charlie Sheen is along, a convoy if somebody has a Rubber Duck, and a pack if led by Marlon Brando. Would a bunch of squirt boaters be a splatoon? I personally like gaggle, but another fave is a hunka paddlers.

What's wrong with a bunch? Or a 'tour' of kayakers, especially when they're not touring, but queuing in eddies waiting for a wave. If it's more than three it's a "mess of kayakers" in WV, says Jimi Snyder. Groover pilots galore, out West, or a pack, as in "a pack of plastic leeches, or just a pack of yaks. If there's a bunch of 'em in the same eddy or around the same rapid, call it a fustercluck. If the kayaks are at your surf break some would call it an intrusion. Elizabeth Le likes eddyfull. Flotilla garnered a vote. But in West Virginia a group of kayakers are often referred to as "crazieernhell by the locals.

How about a bob of kayakers, or a swirl or a roll? A convoy of eskimobiles. From the perspective of an open boat, they are....targets. Lessee, William Nealy said something about bad infestations of hole maggots. How about- people who wish they were good enough to be canoeists? Water maggots. Did anyone deliver the ultimate smite - a raft of kayakers?

A peacock of kayakers? A calamity of kayaks, maybe? Or .a grizfill of kayakers? A herd? Although school may be more appropriate. We always refered to a bunch of kayakers as a "piddle of paddlers".-- Ward Eister. Flock of Mullets --Steve Stahl Tom Visnuis prefers - a spill. Larry K. says: I can't believe it. Nobody knows the right answer? A large group of kayakers is, of course, a "wave."

A closely related topic- what do we call a bunch of open boats?

A finesse of open boats, a "rarity" of OC1's. Or just call them eddies. How about a pod"? Bold. Old chums. A conundrum. How about a union of open boaters? A congregation. Yes, open boating is a religious experience. Amen, says Dale Brown. As one observer said, if you really get into trouble in whitewater, would you rather meet your maker on your knees or sitting on your ass? Yeah, we've heard them out there: "oh God, please don't let me flip! "oh God, please don't let me swamp!" "oh God, please don't let me swim!" and their boats are often holier as well.

Did you say open boats? An equipment yard sale, a swim team. Future kayakers. Probes. Mobility impaired. Speed Bumps, entertainment, throw bag practice. Oooooh, them's low.

Here are a few other offerings: A panic of rafts, a giggle of paddlers, a discomfort of C-1ers. How 'bout a pox of duckists? And for that aromatic gear bag- a stench of polypro!

--Compiled from posts to Rec.Boats.Paddle newsgroup- February 1997--

Return to previous page