Please read the Legal Disclaimer.
Shuttle Tales from the Crypt...
(another long riverman story)
Drifter (RealDriftr on rbp) and I were freelancing in Flagstaff a few
years ago, and managed to be the two head guides on a trip together.
Drifter is one of the quintessential 'mainstream' Canyon Guides,
recognizable by every outfitter in town and wanted by most. I was
making a shaky name for myself as a jack-of-all-trades boatman, willing
to do anything for a paycheck. I like working with Drifter, as he has a
history with the Arizona rivers and the river scene that almost goes
back to Wesley Powell, and just being seen with him is good for future
jobs. That, and he's generally an alright guy and great fun to do trips
with.
But I really needed the positive association. Previously with this
particular company, I had volunteered to oversee the purchase of snacks
for a bunch of businessmen doing a 2-hour float on the Salt River in
Phoenix. With the mindset of feeding Gorp to cold clients on day long
trips on Maine rivers, I purchased enough raisins, peanuts and Chex
cereal to feed each of the 45 men about 1/4 pound...considerably too
much, as it turned out that they had just come from breakfast, and it
was 100 degrees and no one wanted to eat. The company was still handing
out baggies of Gorp as Christmas Presents, 2 years later.
This particular trip we got was taking a bunch of HS kids for 5-days on
the Lower Verde River from Verde Hot Springs to Sheep Bridge, in
duckies. There were about 20 little boats on the trip, so we were going
to head to the river early on put-in morning and pump up the boats by
hand to speed up the put-in time. The Verde was flooded, as it had been
raining for a few days, and we expected the kids to be challenged and
spend a lot of time being wet and cold, so we wanted to get a good
start.
The road to the put-in winds through the steep canyons of central
Arizona. Many times, the road is a one-lane 'Beetle Bailey' road with a
wall on one side and a precipitous 200 foot drop on the other. To make
matters worse, the road is through a hard clay layer in the sediments,
and when it is rainy, the clay coats your tires and makes a frictionless
surface. Often, Upper trips are stranded at the Hot Springs waiting for
the road to dry so they can egress, rather than risk their lives on the
slick clay. Fortunately for people taking out at Hot Springs, the worst
part is right at the river, so they get it over with quickly. We didn't
have that luck.
The owner of this company had no intentions of delaying the put-in,
knowing that Drifter was a legend and able to manage any put-in, and
knowing that I owed him big-time for spending $200 on Gorp in previous
years, so Drifter and I loaded up the boats, pump, throwropes and gear,
and with Jake (the owner of a local nightclub) driving, we set out to
the put-in. For the first part, we were all pretty jovial, swapping
tales with Jake (I worked as a doorman at a local bar), and generally
enjoying the feeling of Going to Put-in. The rain had abated, and Jake
was managing to keep the van out of the ruts in the road, so the cascade
of gear down on Drifter's and my head was minimal. Also, the rolled-up
boats in the trailer were avoiding most of the mud-slinging, so they
were staying pretty clean.
However, about 2 miles from the end, right where the road gets into
Beetle Bailey Land, it started to rain. Jake soon started participating
less and less in the story-swapping, and Drifter and I started fidgeting
with the gear in the back seat, restuffing a throwbag, gathering biners
that had wandered around...
At one point, Jake swore sharply and I looked up to see the van narrowly
avoid some big rocks that had fallen into the road. A little later, Jake
had determined that the road conditions were so bad that he had slowed
to a crawl and was gingerly working his way through the deepening mud
and rain. We could hear the mud on the tires scraping the wheelwells, so
we got out and scraped off the tires as much as we could. It was so
slick and gooey that we both had about 10-pound shoes when we went to
get back in. Not fun.
Then, we arrived at the Last Bit. For the last 500 yards, the road takes
several steep switchbacks as it drops down to the river valley at the
Hot Springs. Jake was moving at about 1 mph at the top of the steep
section, and Drifter and I were crammed up to the dashboard peering
anxiously down at the river to see how bad it was flooded. The van
crept slowly closer to the outside of the precipitious corner, and
Drifter said "Uh Jake, arent you coming a bit close to the cliff..?"
"Yeah", I said. "Maybe we better stop and look over the scenario.."
Jake cursed, and said "Uh guys, I'd love to stop...I've got it in
neutral, my foot is flat on the brake, and the emergency brake's on. We
just aren't stopping!"
Drifter and I looked at each other. "Shit!" said Drifter. "What can we
do?"
"Well, for one", said Jake, "get ready to jump".
Well, I tell you, I LIVE for these moments. I dunno, I really enjoy
bizarre situations and emergencies. I grabbed a throwbag, opened the
back door and hopped out. "Lets go!" I told Drifter. "Tie this end
around the trailer hitch!"
Drifter threw a bowline on the trailer hitch, and I ran the throwline
out and around a nearby tree. The van and trailer crept slowly towards
the cliff, the rope tensioned, Jake stood on the doorjamb ready to jump,
and the whole rig slowly ground to a stop. We had belayed the Van,
trailer and boats to a stop, right at the edge of the cliff!
"Well, that's nice" said Drifter (ever underspoken.). "Now what?"
I took another throw rope, tied it to the back of the trailer, and
around another tree farther uphill from the first belay point. Then,
with poor Jake steering, Drifter let off the tension on the first rope
and I held tension on the back rope, and we pendulummed the van rig
another 20 feet down the slick road. Using this method, we eventually
got the whole rig all the way down to the river, where we enjoyed a
well-deserved handful of Gorp.
To this day, with hundreds of put-ins all over the world, that still
remains the one hairiest put-in shuttle I ever had. I think Drifter
agrees... and Jake bought the next round after the trip.
Anyone else got a Shuttle Tale From the Crypt?
-riverman
Return to previous page