It had been cold and snowy through January and half of February and I was beginning to get the craving to get SIK. Things were frozen and just when I thought that we had gotten enough rain to wash out the ice, we headed out to good old Canaan for some good old fashioned Upper Blackwater creekin. The only problem was that the 400 cfs pumping down the Blackwater wasn't enough to wash away the ice and we had to scrape down the North Fork (which amazingly didn't have any ice, something to do with the amount of raw sewage in the run I think). The following Friday (February 18) brought about epic rain all over West Virginia so Joe Stumpfel and I headed to "where the creeks get a little SIKer", the New River Gorge.

We drove out there Friday night in the heaviest downpour that I have ever seen. The wipers were on high for like 2 hours straight. Joe almost got real SIK when he swerved to miss a slow motorist and his truck started planing out into a sidesurf in the middle of the interstate. Luckily, he brought it back y'all!(from the back to the middle and the middle to the front). When we reached Fayetteville, the rains calmed to a yellowish-orange cell on the radar. However, when we went to sleep, a red cell passed over us and beat down on the roof of Joe's truck for several hours.

Our plan was to do Real Manns which is Manns Creek above where Glade Creek dumps in (the normal Manns Creek run starts on Glade Creek). We were joined in the morning by my buddy, Ben Dunham, who had hiked Real Manns and wanted to watch us run it. He showed us where the putin was and we hiked down to look at the first slide. The first slide was a little out of contol, well actually a lot out of control (uh, it was quite scary). We decided that, if we wanted to remain in good health, we should tell Manns to suck it and run something else. I knew of a creek called ------ (Mystery) Creek that BJ Johnson had run so we looked it up on Joe's topo map and decided to give it a try. We dropped Joe's truck at Fayette Station, headed up out of the gorge past a swollen Wolfe Creek and took off towards the putin for "Mystery" Creek.

We putin at a little town where the creek was about 10 feet wide.We saw a cool looking slide ending in a small drop downstream and didn't want to miss it. Well, the cool slide was a lot of fun but unfortunately we entered the "Impenetrable Congo of Laurels." We had to portage several trees for the next mile to the point where we were doing more walking than paddling. The congo was very difficult terrain to hack our way through but we made due. Frankly, the congo didn't do P-turkey for me other than give me flashbacks to the time I served in 'Nam. I probably couldn't have traded the congo for a pack of cigarettes down in cell block D-O-Double G! Ben decided about a half mile into it that he had enough and started walking down the convenient loggin road that ran along the creek. Joe and I were scared that we would miss something so we kept hacking away. I even ripped a hole in my new skirt trying to bust through some branches (the darn thing was defective I tell you). I walked around one slide that had several trees that you possibly could get around but Joe decided to run it and got pinned for a little bit. Every now and then, we would get a reward like a 5 foot boof or a cool slide. Eventually, there were less and less trees and more and more cool slides. I knew that we were going to be in good shape when a hiker yelled something about some big waterfalls downstream.

We finally reached the steep section and it started with a bang. There was a 15 foot drop onto a slide would have been an awesome drop if there weren't trees pinned across it. We decided to scout far ahead and we ran into a group of boaters in street cloths who were hiking along the creek and apparently videoing for BJ and Dinver. They said that there was a huge slide into a big falls coming up (Oh Yesh!). After scouting downstream, Joe and I (Ben stayed on the road shouldering his boat)ran through some smaller rapids and portaged an 8 foot drop that had a tree in it that you possibly could have jumped. We putin below and ran a cool runout drop and down some smaller drops. We came upon a schweeet 8 footer onto a slide that we both hit good claps off of (Joe's was better than mine). We portaged another 8 footer with a tree across it and walked downstream to look at the maw that lay before us.

What lay before us was a 60 foot cascade that ended in a 30 foot waterfall that clapped about halfway down on a huge boulder before pouring into the tiny pool at the bottom. I had had enough of portaging and it was time to introduce "Mystery" Creek to the Dogg's Show, Smackdown. Joe decided to portage and Ben said he would take my picture. I told them to "lay back while I freak this (in the words of Will Smith)." I flew down this slide at a speed that I estimated at between 300 and 323 miles per hour(at any rate, it was the fastest I have traveled in a kayak on water or snow). The slide started steeply and, as I gathered speed, I launched off the first of 2 humps. I went airborn and landed back on the slide only to immediately go airborn off the second hump (I probably could have thrown some aerial blunts off these humps but I wasn't going to try it). I landed back on the slide as it continued to race toward the 30 footer. I drove hard left and cascaded into the small eddy on the left above the 30 footer (Oh Yesh! It was SCHWEEEEET!). The right side of the falls was really ugly and the left side wasn't real pretty either (although I looked pretty as I laid the smackdown on the falls). The falls fell 15 feet before landing on a boulder and falling another 15 feet. I launched a niche boof, fell 15 feet, landed a schweeeet clapper on the boulder before plunging another 15 feet into the tiny pool. It was awesome! That was the coolest rapid I have ever run! I was fired up from the can of whoop ass that I had just opened up! I did my usual antics: the suck it chop, chest bumps, and punching trees. Ben offered to let me run it again in his boat but I declined because I was too happy with the first run (by the way, I found out that I am the 6th person to run this drop, SIK!).

Joe and I continued downstream while Ben stayed up on the road. The first rapid below the falls was a 6 foot drop with a tree pinned on the right. I scraped through the left but my boat was too wide and I stuck before falling deep into the pool. The next drop was a boof onto an 8 foot slab that took me deep and flipped me. I rolled quickly and grabbed a small eddy before the next drop. The eddy was a little too small so I asked Joe to pull me up. Joe walked these drops but he was all about the next 8 foot boof. I went first and scraped a little at the lip but was still able to launch a niche one. Joe stalled too at the lip but fell in fine.

Soon, we were out portaging again at a 12 foot drop with a schweeet launcher that landed in a slot that was a boat width wide. The runout rapid had a strainer in it so we decided that it was, uh, quite scary and we walked. After some cool boogy water and a drop next to a car, we came to another 30 foot waterfall. This one landed on rocks on the right and went into a pool on the left. I didn't know the depth of the pool so I decided not to chance it. Joe and I hacked our way through the vicious Congo to get around this. It wasn't long before we were out portaging again at a 7 foot drop into a piton rock. You probably could have run it sideways and been ok but anything straight in would have been painful on the ankles (although it would hurt Joe a lot less since he is knealing in his C-1).

We scouted the next drop which was a complex 5 part drop that was pretty steep. Joe decided to walk it but I opted to run it. I aced the first 2 parts which were small ledges but the third part was an 8 foot drop at about an 80 degree slope. I launched as best I could but my bow went under a little bit. As my bow started to resurface, it snagged on a log or rock flake that was just under the surface. My boat shot up in an ender position. I was stuck there vertically about 5 feet downstream of the drop.

I called to Joe and, luckily, he heard me (I should've had a whistle). I tried wiggling but the boat wouldn't move. I tried initiating the bow like I do when I'm gettin jiggy with it in a hole but that didn't work. I didn't want to swim because there were two more steep, rocky drops below me but I had to get out somehow. I tried popping the skirt but it was pinned against the obstruction. Uh oh, I was starting to get real scared now. I tried to bring my knees together to push out of the boat. That is when I realized that the deck had crushed on my legs. I thought back to an account of one of the boaters I most respect, Clay Wright, where he barely got out of his boat before the deck crushed. My deck was not totally crushed but it was badly crushed. The only thing preventing an all out collapse was my bulkhead (bulkhead, I love you!). I threw Joe my paddle and began to work my way out of the skirt tunnel. Luckily, I was in a stable position and my head was above water. Once I had the skirt tunnel below my waste, I began pushing with all my might to get out of that boat. My legs were stuck in the crushed boat and I feared that the only way to get out would be to break my legs. I kept twisting and pushing but I couldn't budge. Joe threw me a rope and that extra pull was enough for me to scrape my legs through the cockpit of the boat. Joe pulled me to shore above the next drop. I was so happy to be safe and alive! I can't thank Joe enough for being there to help me. He truly saved my life.

Now that I was safe, we had a whole new problem on our hands. My keys and Ben's keys were in the boat which was still firmly pinned in the same position as I left it. Ben came up and joined us and we discussed strategy for getting the boat out. We tried lassoing the boat with a rope but we couldn't move it much. I figured that we were probably going to have to leave the boat. Ben decided that he would walk out to the boat on the lasso that we had created and attach a throw bag to the grab loop. It was a very brave maneuver but I figured that if anyone could do it, it would be Ben. He is an experienced rock climber so he has experience with using ropes to get where you want to go. He successfully attached his throw bag to the boat and made it back to shore. We tried pulling but the boat still wouldn't budge. We set up a Z drag and, after some hard pulling, we popped the boat out. It did a sik backblast in the hole before Joe was able to pull it into the shore. I can't thank Ben enough for his help and bravery in getting the boat out. When the boat was freed, an object floated from it. I feared that it was my backrest which would then release my drybag which had the keys in it and wasn't attached inside (another mistake). Fortunately, it was my sprayskirt that floated away and not the keys.

It was dark now and Ben and Joe decided that they didn't want to run the New at 10 feet in the dark (I couldn't have run it anyway without a skirt). The only other option was to walk out. We had to climb up a steep and very slick bank to get to the road which was high above the creek. I went down to the New and got Ben's boat for him and we started walking. The road was steep but the walking wasn't too bad. Eventually, we came to a bridge with no boards, just iron beems 3 feet apart that ran across it. We strattled the beems and pushed the boats and us across. After this, Ben took off to get his Blazer and I drug both his and my boats. We found a way up to a driveable road and I waited there for Ben and Joe.

After loading up, we picked up Joe's truck, said goodbye to Ben, and went to Cunard to let Chris Skalka know that we were alive. He was rightfully worried but relieved to see us. We told the tale of our day and this SIK creek we had paddled.

Now, you are probably thinking that where do I go from here, I have no skirt and a boat with a crushed bow. Well, don't cry for me Argentina, I wisely packed an extra skirt and I headed to Starrk Moon to take some heat to my bow. After popping the crushed bow out by the heater, Joe, Chris, and I headed out to Real Manns to get SIK. But that is another story........ :-)

Have a hardcore day! Ballzout.

Bobby "The People's Champion"

Starrk Moon Kayak Platoon