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Did'un yo momma'n'em tell ye not to hitch hike?
Well, we’uns here at The Shed ain’t above a little japery (it’s good
for the soul) and last Sunday we'uns thought we’uns’ud go out and
have us a little fun. Well, you’uns know how lots of folks likes to
hitch-shuttle at the Ocoee. Why, heckfire, I do it all the time
myself and it’s a copacetty thing to do, if you think about it.
‘Specially when ye’ve got them authorotative folks what make all
the rules down there what are continuous makin’ it hard for us
private boatin’ folks to find a place to park an’ all the while
usherin’ in more an’ more o’ them raftin’ buses full o’ slickers
with big pockets, an’ shipsafire, me an’ my chums’ll load up five
or six to a small car an’ go down there an’ all we need’s a wide
spot on the side o’ the road for to park and then jest a good thumb
to get back. That ain’t askin’ much, neither.
I’m a ramblin’ here....
Anyways, we was a comin’ up the road past that lower parkin’ spot
on the Parksville Lake when we'uns seed this young cat a standin’ there
with
his thumb out on the side o’ the road. Well, jest before we’uns got
to ‘em, ol’ Gomer, what was a sittin’ all alone in the backseat,
fastdonned this high yaller wig, and him a havin’ them dark
eyebrows anyway, made a right fetchin woman, I might add. Why I
almost jumped back there with ‘em myself (Heh, heh, heh... jest
kiddin’ about that one). Anyways, we’uns stopped an’ picked up
that young cat what said he was a goin’ to the top. We’uns
mannered by passin’ names around, acknowledgin’ a Misses
Ginger Snap as the one what occupied the back seat with ‘em
(really it was Gomer). Well, he got right mute-like then an’ set
close to the door on the side he got in on. He jest looked straight
ahead. Well, ol’ Gom... I mean Ginger (heh, heh, heh), slid over
closer to ‘em an’ winked when he--she caught his eye. That boy slid
over up again his door. Ginger slid over more an’ winked again. By
then that boy was my-near a sittin’ up with his rear end on the door
handle itself! Then ol’ Gomer slid over again an’ placed hand
on that boy’s leg-limb an’ said: "I shore do hold ye kayakers in
high estimation." With that, that boy said: "STOP! I NEED OUT
RIGHT HERE!" So we stopped an’ let 'em out. He vacated the car
real quick-like an’ commenced to trip an’ slide down a loose-rock
bank through all sorts of briers and muskydine vines to the river
below where I reckon he had his boat hid.
We’uns all watched him disappear into the brambles, then ol’
Gomer said:
"What a hell of a place to put in the river at!"
Heh, heh, heh. We here at The Shed don’t need much.
* * *
"Member, we’uns are located at the junction of Highway 64 an’
Imagination; some folks find it right easy, and some can’t find it at
all.
Goober
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