Kudzu Tour

Hi-de-ho, neighbors! I hope you’uns had a good weekend on the river.
We did, what of us could turn a loose here at The Shed!

Well, sometime back we’uns here at The Shed had come to agreement we needed to proffer a few more sundry activities to our guests. Now some other’uns down the road already had go carts, helicopter rides, yer lawnmowers with that parachute on ‘em, and (boy howdy, I wish we’uns’ud thought of this one) a big ol’ jumping swing! Anyways, ol’ Gomer, bein’ of powerful imagination, come up with the idea of “kudzu interpertation rides.” Now I know passels of you’uns out there are wonderin’ what in tarnation that might be. Well, it’s a proven fact that folks like to look up at clouds and thangs and see all kinda critters and such in ‘em when they do, plus boatpeople are forever namin’ big rocks what they see on the river after battleships, fannies, or some poor soul what busted his head or smeller on the rock. Plus we’uns here at The Shed know that more and more folks what have comfortable and luxurious settings elsewhere still gladly betake themselves to the high country for the playing and enjoyin’ of the surroundins. So ol’ Gomer seed promise in the considerable drapes of kudzu we have here in these parts and come up with the notion of “kudzu interpertation.” So last afternoon we borrowed ol’ Enoch’s flatbed and tied a ol’ used raft up on it (you know, to make our patrons feel like this was a continuation of the river funnin’) and sure ‘nuff it warn’t too long ‘fore a group of women folk stopped by travling in a nice van what said “North Atlanta Junior League” on its side. They’d already been raftin’ down the river and wanted to do one more thang before they all went up to El Rios for some Mexican. Well, we’uns took their money and loaded ‘em up in the back of that flatbed with me drivin’ and ol’ Gomer settin’ back there just like a riverguide in that ol’ raft and then headed out to some of the finer kudzu drapes in the area. They was really having a good ol’ time back there; I could hear ‘em yellin’ of seein’ dragons and gargles (I never did figger out that one) and even ol’ Moses hisself partin’ the Red Sea, all in them kudzu vines! Well, we came to the turnaround spot nigh a lush kudzu drape and as I backed around, I could scarce hear Gomer say: “Lookie there! I see two dogs...” (I jest didn’t git the rest but it did cause them women folk some consternation). One of them women folk commenced abeatin’ the Sam Hill out of the roof top of the truck and then reached her head around and told me they was ready to go back...NOW!

Well, we went on back and them women folk loaded up in their shiny van and left in a tizzy. Shipsafire! They was in such a hurry they took the wrong turn out of The Shed... that is if’n they was still going to El Rios for supper. Gomer allowed he did’n git no guide tip either.

So we’uns here at The Shed still have the “Kudzu Interpertation” tour afternoons for those o’ you with interest, but we’uns do need to work on it still, I reckon.

Thankin’ ye for yer time,

Goober

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